Saturday, October 18, 2008

Anatomy of a F#cked-Up Commission! Part 3

After not hearing a word out of "Johnny Cash Asshole" for weeks/months etc... he came thru the drive-thru I work at (ugh) thinking I was gone for the day. But since I worked an hour late that day, he pulled the ol' "I will get you some money on Monday" routine, shades of Wimpy from Popeye.

Only not at all entertaining or funny.

I have been informed by my co-workers he stops by regularly AFTER my shift ends and get his Fast-Food Fix. It has been almost a year since this sorry-ass motherfucker has started this. In all honesty, it did take me about a month to really get into the painting, not having done any serious work on canvas in 10 years. BUT, I have had this painting 90% done since late APRIL. For the sake of compromise, let's say mid-May. He has paid me a total of $300 bucks out of the $500 agreed to. Obviously, I will not even touch the darn thing 'til he pays in full. But since I am finally finishing my long overdue Lightwave 3D Computer Animation Education and working on Fast-Food Funnies (a self-published 4-part comic book mini-series), as well as keeping a roof over my head and food on my table. I am happily over-worked on stuff that will bring me money, a career with meaning and chix chix chix!

Coming next week join me as I present in it's self-confessional glory, FACING THE DEMON!
YOU will watch as I, once and for all, conquer the mental block of 3 years and see if I can't get me a fuckin' life!

Shmuck You!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fast-Food Funnies! - Character Doodle, a comic in the making

Here is a doodle I did today at the drive-thru I am forced to work at 'til I get an udder art-job or get my 3D work to the point where I can find work doin' that. I do a lot of note taking and scribbling at the "Burger Girl" (where FFF takes place) documenting the weirdness that passes before my eyes on a daily basis. This was done on regular copy paper which I did not sneak out of the office PC, honest.
Phil is the Fry-cook, and this scribble is way better than all the sketches I have done of him so far. Original size 4.25x5.5".

Shmuck Mini-Comix #2, Bus-Stop Blues

The second disasterpiece, I mean MASTERpiece, tee-hee! I began to do stories based on my stinkin' life. Lot's more done and in progress. This is all building to the launch of my self-publishing company, Shmuck Comix and Animation, and it's 1st mini-series, Fast Food Funnies!

Shmuck Mini-Comix #1, F#ck Your Stupid God!

My CONTROVERSIAL mini-comix debut (I did some in the early 90s too). Shmuck Comix is a-coming for you! More and more mini-comix are and will be posted ASAP. Believe it or not, this stuff is SELLING!

Sierra Office and Girls

Some character and set sketches I did a couple of years ago. this was supposed to be some kinda video game. I never was clear on what they wanted and the company and game are long gone so who cares!

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Anatomy of a F#cked-up Commission! Part 2

Well well well...
The jerk who commissioned me to do the Johnny Cash painting briefly emerged from the universe of Butt-Heads to toss me a tiny bone! He DID NOT MENTION the fiasco of a couple of Sunday's ago and asked if the painting was 90% done like I said (see the original posting for proof of this) then said in a rather demeaning tone of voice, "finish it this week". I told him I would get to it ASAP. Since I was at work I could not say "Hey asshole, yer lucky I don't burn it!" I went to finish it a few times over the last 3 months (that's how long it's been almost done) but when I did, I just got pissed off and moved on to something that, I don't know, made me feel GOOD. But a deal is a deal and this weekend I will get into it again. Luckily I got a cartoon commission from a person who is not a complete disrespecting ass and I will finish the pencil art tonight, then, pending approval I will ink and color it by Friday when I will be paid on time from someone with a bit of respect for The Hack Cartoonist. With their permission, I will post the job from scribble to finished art real quick-like.

This is all my own damn fault for not sticking to the 50% down rule, but I have finally learned my lesson for ever on this. I also have more mini-comix, old and new, to offend and amuse you, all 12 people who have read this.
Later fellow freaks,
the real crappy thing is

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Private Commision, FREAK BROTHERS!

This is for a close friend of mine, hi Fred! All went perfect with this one. It is an interpretation of the beginning of the Freak Bros. Mexican Odyssey. It took a LONG time to get the drawing right. Finally I realized I had to channel Gilbert Shelton and the late, great Dave Sheridan and leave my sorry ass out of it. After that it was a lot of hard work and a joy to do. Thanks Fred!
This is 9x12", ink on bristol board, photocopied to 8-1/2x11 so it would fit on my crappy old scanner. GIVE ME MONEY!

Anatomy of a F#cked-up Commission!

This is a private commission that has gone into limbo. the well-meaning JERK who started this mess has stopped paying me and I have no idea if or when he will ever do so. Recently he promised me a large payment but on the day he cut it back by 25%. Having payed only a bit more than half of the total price but I needed the $$$ bad so I said okay. Then he says he wants to pick up the painting immediately! We agreed many months ago that he would not get it 'til it was paid in full. Plus it's not quite done. he freaked out on the phone, made some half-assed excuse about calling his mom or some crap and hung up. I have not heard from him since.

The lesson? NEVER START A JOB UNLESS YOU GET HALF THE MONEY IN ADVANCE!!! IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT! This is acrylic on canvas, 30x40".